This is Part two of this recap. Part one can be found HERE and should be read first or you won’t understand any of the super clever and intelligent, not at all obvious jokes.
We return to episode one with Team Clarke going on a journey through the woods to try to find food for everyone else on the mountain that they were wrongfully dropped next to instead of on top of. Everyone’s having a great time eating flowers and teaching Jasper how to flirt, except for Clarke who is power walking through the trees fast enough to make paths for everyone else to follow with nothing but the power of her stride and incredible leadership qualities.
Despite everyone else having fun and not paying much attention, Clarke reminds them that they have been on a radiation soaked planet for about an hour and are probably close to death so they should take themselves more seriously. She also points out that there are no animals around which would be promising if not for the fact that they were probably all killed by the radiation soaked leaves that the others were basically just making a scarecrow with.
They walk about another two steps and see a deer, just popping in to let Clarke know that she’s wrong at the perfect moment, because radiation had made the animals smarter and given them a taste for irony. As it turns out, this isn’t your average deer and everyone involved is startled about how unexpected everything is.
Finn is pretty offended that not only did his chin not come with a head like Clarke’s did, but they got two, so they decide to keep moving and leave the deer where they are.
On the Ark, Abby is preforming surgery on Jaha and once again we can’t make any jokes because there is nothing funny about the possible death of the Captain leader president. However, Shumway drops by to let Kane know that they found the person responsible for creating this seriousness wrinkle in our jokeable content and it’s none other than Bellamy Blake. We’re shocked to learn this, especially given how full of fun, games, and smiles group dad Bellamy has been thus far.
Wells is helping gather some sticks so he can build a lincoln logs house while everyone else is busy screwing around, but it turns out that Murphy has some other ideas for a good time on earth
He probably should have stuck with a different message or just left his number or a small heart with his initials because Wells isn’t impressed by this one. Murphy is disappointed but may be in luck because Bellamy happened to have heard that there’s a salon opening up and he’s really enthusiastic about hair product.
Unfortunately, John and John’s Salon doesn’t carry any gel which is pretty disappointing so instead Bellamy comes up with a new idea that they should make everyone on the Ark think they’re dead for funsies. John and John are pretty cool with that plan so they all take off to do that instead.
Clarke and the gang are strolling through the woods trying to forget about the insulting deer party hosts, so she tells them all about why they’re on earth. She carefully explains that her father thought the people should be warned about the Ark failing, and then Finn comes up with yet another really great idea.
Clarke is rendered speechless because not only is that exactly what she just said, but it is at least a sure sign that Finn’s ideas are getting better and he is beginning to retain important information and may have a head attached after all.
Speaking of great ideas, when they turn around, Octavia is throwing her clothes off and jumping into the water that she doesn’t know the depth of and can’t swim in. Thankfully, it’s shallow enough that she can stand which makes swimming safer despite the likely painful dive. But that isn’t the biggest problem, because there’s an incredible hulking eel/snake/alien charging straight at her. They warn her to get out but Octavia challenges the eel/snake/alien to a staring contest. It’s underwater so it knows it stands no chance and thus charges at her and bites her instead.
A great rescue sequence ensues complete with dramatic lighting,
jaw dropping close ups,
and Clarke being the most intelligent yet again. However this time around it isn’t only Clarke’s awesome working brain that saves the day. Jasper jumps in the water and pulls out Octavia just in time so they don’t get attacked by the angry sea creature again and all is well. Not much good comes of the situation, but Jasper at least gets a hands on demonstration of the picking up girls lesson everyone was giving him earlier.
Back at camp, while waiting for the others to return, Bellamy and Wells decide to challenge one another to a rap battle, because Wells is upset about everyone taking off their bracelets. Bellamy’s “Whatever the hell we want” rap goes over way better than Wells’s “I came here for the bracelet.” Wells is pretty angry by it but we all know Bellamy deserved the title due to his incredible lyrical abilities.
Because Abby used too much blood and supplies to make sure Jaha wasn’t dead, she’s now on Kane’s naughty list. He arrests her and sentences her to be executed which again is not funny save for the image of Kane as Santa. And this is the north pole where we can make jokes about giant eel snakes and kids who try to fly and die but we will not make jokes about how enthusiastic Kane is to have Abby killed.
In the middle of the night, Clarke and Finn wake up and hang out for a while. Finn shows her the footprint that he found. It suggests that the person walking was standing on two feet and he guesses it’s a monkey. Clarke is appalled that in the middle of their current realistic setting, and glowing blue plants Finn would suggest something as ludicrous as a monkey in the forest. Meanwhile, due to the consequences of their rap battle, Bellamy gets his friends to beat up Wells and steal his bracelet, ending is potential for a relationship with cadet Romeo that he had been hoping for.
Abby’s pre-execution event is going down and it’s no fun for anyone since this is the part we aren’t allowed to joke about and everyone has to be very serious.
But Jaha hears about it and finds out that everyone is being serious because he might die and he isn’t even dead, so he comes to set things right.
Jaha stops the execution, rescues Abby and fixes everything by the power of is intense gaze and chin alone, and everyone is eternally grateful.
The kids that are out looking for Mount Weather are awake again and have to cross the river with the man eating eel in it in order to get there so they’ve decided to try using a little vine swing instead of swimming this time around. At first Finn is going to do it but instead Jasper volunteers since Finn already has the chin going for him and this is his one chance to prove that he’s still worthy despite his lack of cool facial DNA.
He gets across and everyone is really excited and happy, complete with optimistic music playing and more smiles than the entire series will see from this point forward just before he is speared through the abdomen by an unseen creature.
This is such a shocking and terrifying thing to happen in the middle of our happy music and smiles, that Clarke realizes she has made the first bad choice of the series.